Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
nativityscenegirl: if god isn’t real than how did beep boopity flip flapity gumbo chops? christians: 0 atheists: 0 bill cosby: 1
& then they said it’s ALS. he has a year to live.
Lets drink to memories we shared. Down one to all the hopes & cares. Here’s two for being unaware that you’re gone. Because before too long, you’ll be a memory. I hate thinking about you every night when I’m alone. It’s becoming an unhealthy habit. I’ve decided that when I see you this week, I’m going to tell you what we’ve both been avoiding....